In memory of William Jake Austin

by "Melissa - murder"

April 24, 2004

It's hard to believe that a week ago would be the last time i ever saw your face. I always wondered what Heaven was like, If it was that cloudy place I always imagined, or if it was so much more. If you made your own heaven, I can only guess what it would be, a room full of music, your guitar, and your favorite cd.  I wish you were still here and I had one more chance to say how much we really cared.  I still miss the movie we saw, the laughs we shared.  That night was one to remember, which i do, every part.  I was sitting on the bench, and you came up.  You were looking for some girl you met on the internet named Melissa.  We sat there forever it seemed, and asked every girl we saw if they were her.  You and Wes went to Hastings and found her.  You came back and laughed about how hideous she was.  You were always so truthful.  You weren't sugar coated or fake, You said what was on your mind and sometimes that got you in trouble, but I respect that more than anything.  I guess you never know how much you really miss something until it's gone, which is how I feel about you.  I would see you every Wednesday and give an occasional wave or hello, but if I saw you right now, I'd have a lot more to say to you.  I know you're with me as I'm writing this.  You're helping me press the keys, you're keeping your image in my head and giving me those chills on the back of my neck.  I really wish I got to say goodbye.  I know somehow you're happier, because I know you weren't happy here.  You took your life at such a young age, and I wish I could have helped you through.  I can't get through 5 minutes without thinking about you.  I still can't believe your gone. Thursday morning, after everyone found out.  The counseling offices were packed full with people mourning your death.  There was enough tears one of those rooms to fill the pacific.  So many people going home, laying on their beds, talking to you, though they know your body's not there, your soul will always remain.  Everyone in disbelief that the Jake Austin, had left this world.  So many rumors and so many lies.  I didn't know your every thought, but I knew enough to see that you weren't a regular kid.  You were so much more.  I respect you for all you've been through and how far you made it with that on your shoulders.  I wish someone could have set you free...but you found your own way handling that.  Now we miss you more then ever,  Your voice will always live on, as a friend, a son, a brother, and a hero.  We love you Jake, and we'll never forget you.  I wish i could have told you this in person...but it's too late now...


In loving memory of William Jake Austin
          1990-2004

 

Dad's Memories 2