by "Melissa - murder"
April 24, 2004
It's hard to believe
that a week ago would be the last time i ever saw your face. I always wondered
what Heaven was like, If it was that cloudy place I always imagined, or if it
was so much more. If you made your own heaven, I can only guess what it would
be, a room full of music, your guitar, and your favorite cd. I wish you
were still here and I had one more chance to say how much we really cared.
I still miss the movie we saw, the laughs we shared. That night was one
to remember, which i do, every part. I was sitting on the bench, and you
came up. You were looking for some girl you met on the internet named Melissa.
We sat there forever it seemed, and asked every girl we saw if they were her.
You and Wes went to Hastings and found her. You came back and laughed
about how hideous she was. You were always so truthful. You
weren't sugar coated or fake, You said what was on your mind and sometimes
that got you in trouble, but I respect that more than anything. I guess
you never know how much you really miss something until it's gone, which is
how I feel about you. I would see you every Wednesday and give an
occasional wave or hello, but if I saw you right now, I'd have a lot more to
say to you. I know you're with me as I'm writing this. You're
helping me press the keys, you're keeping your image in my head and giving me
those chills on the back of my neck. I really wish I got to say goodbye.
I know somehow you're happier, because I know you weren't happy here.
You took your life at such a young age, and I wish I could have helped you
through. I can't get through 5 minutes without thinking about you.
I still can't believe your gone. Thursday morning, after everyone found out.
The counseling offices were packed full with people mourning your death.
There was enough tears one of those rooms to fill the pacific. So many
people going home, laying on their beds, talking to you, though they know your
body's not there, your soul will always remain. Everyone in disbelief
that the Jake Austin, had left this world. So many rumors and so many
lies. I didn't know your every thought, but I knew enough to see that
you weren't a regular kid. You were so much more. I respect you
for all you've been through and how far you made it with that on your
shoulders. I wish someone could have set you free...but you found your
own way handling that. Now we miss you more then ever, Your voice
will always live on, as a friend, a son, a brother, and a hero. We love
you Jake, and we'll never forget you. I wish i could have told you this
in person...but it's too late now...
In loving memory of William Jake Austin
Dad's Memories 2